Tuesday, 15 April 2014

On days like today and moments like right now
I know that something inside me is shrinking, withdrawing, dwarfing
I know because something feels empty
And the emptiness hurts.

I know it’s my heart, that scared little creature
One day larger than the universe
And today, so small that it could fit into my pocket
Requesting me to hide her in the almira, at the far end of a drawer
Covered in books, clothed by dust, lost in the darkness
Where nobody can see it, nobody can touch it
Oh, this scared little creature, how it begs to feel safe again
But how do I explain this to my heart
That what forces her to shrink down
Is the same thing that will one day make her grow.

Monday, 14 April 2014

If I could
I’d marry poetry
And winters
And rain
And laughter and jokes
And then make babies with all of them.

Yes, if I could
I would.
I don’t know what to make of it
When he never turns back once he leaves
Sometimes, I think, he notices too much of the obvious
I wonder if he can ever see the subtleties
Like the saved pictures of poems on my phone
And how sometimes they break my heart
I wonder if he notices
That I like odd numbers more than even numbers
And somehow prime numbers are my favorite
Does he notice that I fall in love more with movie trailers
Than the movie itself
Does he see a pattern in all this?
Does he wonder what it means?
Because sometimes I wonder
Whether I want to be loved as a whole
Or for beautiful little subtleties.

Friday, 11 April 2014

If one day you come up to me and say
that my room is an exact reflection of who I am,
I won’t be surprised even one bit
Though I’d be a little surprised you noticed.

You see, I’ve never seen my mind, I’ve only felt its presence
And if I had to draw a map, it would look so much like my room
Because its walls are plain and simple, except one that is colorful and messy
And on the walls are pictures of people I love, so you know you’re always on my mind;
Though I guess I’ve explained this a million times, but there’s a jungle theme to it
So much beauty in the raw, the untouched; I like to feel close to nature;
My room has symbols of birds in every corner- a shadow, a picture, a nest
It even has Diwali lights to light me up when I feel low;
Some days it’really messy, full of things I can’t let go
On other days, I’ll throw it all out, clean it up
My room has closets and drawers behind which lie thoughts I hardly visit; fears I know are there
But I try to leave the doors open, for anybody who wants to come in

Though, I’ll have to say, my favorite part is the colorful messy wall
It has quotes, cartoons, thoughts, pictures, ideas
It has word I like, tattoo designs, hand puppets, and the lights
It has a bill of the first time I dared to have coffee alone
For the people who are new, the wall is cluttered
Some say it destroys the room’s beauty
But the people who have lasted, when they see the wall,
I know they can see me.

Saturday, 5 April 2014

Undying Spirits

They sneak behind closed doors
They enter through broken windows
They move in like rain from between the cracks
They linger on like the smell of agarbatti
Like the taste of food stuck in your teeth
Like words that echo in your heart beat

They come, they come like smoke
To give little baskets of prayer and hope
To those who should have given up
long ago.