She got up and slammed the door as she walked out of the house. It was all she had wanted to do since the past few days, she just could'nt take it anymore. She stood outside for a few minutes, it was dark and windy, her hair was tied back tight enough that not one strand had the courage to move about. Her kajal had sprewn beneath her eyes, she wore her brother's lose, comfortable shirt,straightened herself up and started walking. She realized she was wearing no shoes but was too angry to go back, plus this was probably her only chance to get away.
Yes. That was all she had wanted to do- to get away. Go away somewhere far and now, somehow, her journey had begun. She did'nt care what a mess she looked like, it was nothing compared to the mess inside.. "Not that anyone cares anyway" she said smiling mockingly. It was her favourite laugh- one filled with anger and sadness. She laughed because she knew how entertaining God must be finding it all- her pain, her suffering, her confusions. She laughed because she did'nt know what else to do.
And so she walked into the dark night, down the road. She trudged along the way hoping something would hit her. Not physically, but that somehow something would stirke her dead mind and everything would suddenly make sense. Along the way she asked herself what she was doing- "Is this the right choice? Just to walk away like that?"
''Walking away'' then she thought "is always a difficult decision to make. Either you chose to stay in the mess or get out of it. No one ever thinks of cleaning it up. Bah. I'd rather leave." Life had somehow sucked all energy out of her, all she could do now was walk mindlessly. As she heard her footsteps on the dimly lit road, she realized how strangely silent it was. The streets were empty and with every step she took, the trees seemed to be closing down on her. It surprised her that she felt no fear trodding down that unusually quiet, silent path. It surprised her that not only she felt no fear, but infact she was at peace. Ocassionally she stepped on stones that were so small that they pricked; they hurt her, she whined and then set off walking again.
She talked to herself most of the way, speaking out loud her problems hoping that some voice out of the night would give her all the answers. Telling herself her own problems always helped. It provided a new perspective. Yet today, everything, every word she spoke felt stale. Long dead. It did'nt make no sense to think of them anymore.
She reached a bench that seemed to be about as old as her, its iron rusting, its wooden parts decaying; the similarity between them compelled her to sit down. Another rush of wind passed by her, the tied hair trying to run out of the band. She stared as the stars started to form imaginary figures twinkling all the way. She sat there as every strand of grass called out to her, as every sleeping creature prayed for her in their dreams. The silence was talking to her. In that silence she got answers that no words would speak.
"It seems I created so much noises in my head that they blocked away the little voices that came from my heart." She said laughing at her own foolishness. "Sometimes the anwers are right infront of us." She laughed again and again and again, enjoying every little sound she made. "I should do this more often" she told herself as fell in love with the sounds of laughter. It was the most beautiful voice she had heard in a long time. The rest of the night passed by forgetting things that hurt and chersihing things that made her smile.
That's what Life seemed all about- Walking down that path fearlessly, allowing yourself mistakes and laughing! The silence that allows us to listen to the voices in our heart. If only we could let things be this simple throughout.